陪孩子好好說話:讓愛無礙,養成良好的親子溝通 (尚瑞君)
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陪孩子好好說話:讓愛無礙,養成良好的親子溝通 (尚瑞君)

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陪孩子好好說話:讓愛無礙,養成良好的親子溝通 (尚瑞君): 0 3 family 2021 2024

作者: 尚瑞君


       ★臉書高人氣親子暢銷榜作家最新力作★
  ★暢銷作家.粉絲臉專討論度最高的親子問題★
  ★陪孩子好好說話,是親子間最重要的生活環節★

  如何聽孩子說話?說孩子會聽的話?
  如何讓孩子能夠對你敞開心扉?

  拒絕有毒語言!拒絕成為,讓孩子討厭的大人!

  身為父母的我們,上次陪孩子好好說話,是什麼時候?

  本書從尋思開始,探討我們為什麼要說話,探討嬰兒、兒童、青少年不同階段,因為成長發育與學習的階段不同,大人在陪伴他們成長的過程中,也要用不同的說話方式,來培養孩子的自信心和自我價值感。
 
  作者以資深母親的陪伴養育經驗、在教學現場多年所面臨的教育課題,加上臉書粉專上父母最頭痛的溝通問題,分享如何面對孩子生活、學校上的各種狀況,從開始的衝撞到之後的溝通無礙,從親子間的劍拔相對到放下怒氣平和傾訴,她如何以溫柔且堅定地的方式,解決頭痛的難題。

  她提出孩子不同關鍵時期的建議:
  每一階段的孩子,先了解再說,

  0-3歲孩子正在學習說話
  在嬰兒、兒童時期,他們對於這個世界的認知正在萌芽,千萬不要自以為了解孩子總是幫他說話,尊重孩子的感受與表達,孩子才能好好展現自己。父母的心情和態度,是最重要的學習環境,嬰幼兒雖然還不會說話,但其實他可以聽得懂很多大人的意思,我們應該要用孩子能理解與聽懂的方式,陪著他好好的認識這個他正在加入的新世界。跟嬰幼兒說話,大人常常會有一個盲點,就是會忘記孩子懂的東西,知道的知識還不多,其實他們常常不一定真的聽懂我們在說什麼,或是我們大人因為急而沒有時間去好好理解孩子要表達的事情。

  「我不想上學」是震撼彈!
  我不想上學、上學拖拖拉拉是每位家長的惡夢吧!幼童時期開始面臨離家去陌生環境上學認識新朋友的階段,如何引導孩子把話說清楚,讓孩子喜歡學習;如何理解與幫助孩子,讓孩子適應接受新事物新世界的到來,一起幫助孩子進入這好有趣的學校生活。

  「數到三是威脅」,給孩子有限時間選擇結束上一回合
  數到三,是親子間經常出現的話,有效嗎?但卻是孩子的惡夢!用言語威脅孩子不但收不到效果,反而會失去父母的威信。和孩子談說話的藝術,該如何教孩子選擇好好說話。陪孩子在對話中排定他要做事情的輕重緩急,每天做、每天練習,就能養成對時間與處理事情的敏感度,孩子也能在他律中養成自律的能力。

  和青春期的孩子溝通請用三明治法則:用兩片「讚美」的麵包,夾著一片「指教」的內餡
  好可怕的青春期?其實許多孩子討罵的行為其實是在討愛,只是因為發生問題才會引起父母的關注。
  當父母有能力幫孩子把優點放大,孩子就會有動力把自己的缺點改善與縮小。

  拒絕成為不會說話而讓人討厭的長輩!
  有人說話讓人如沐春風,也有人說話讓人避之猶恐不及,而且那些讓人想逃離的,卻往往是你不能不聽他把話說完的長輩,你有這些讓人遇到就頭皮發麻的經驗嗎?拒絕成為不會說話而讓人討厭的長輩。

  陪孩子好好說話,該怎麼做?

  *火山爆發的孩子
  青春期的孩子有時看起來像是冰山一樣的冷漠,突然又暴跳得像是火山一樣的噴發。
  青春期孩子那些看起來不正常的行為,其實都只是發出求救訊號的表象,他們需要有大人溫暖的引導與陪伴,讓他們可以好好的梳理內在,安放內心。

  *學習清空
  協助孩子每天都可以把情緒垃圾,清空。當他的情緒容易在起伏後快速恢復穩定,就不用害怕每天都會產生好多的情緒。只要記得把情緒垃圾清空,就又有新的空間,裝入更多的學習。

  *讚賞孩子
  很多時候,孩子的世界是被父母的言語形塑出來的,當我們多肯定與讚賞孩子,孩子才會累積自信和力量。我們要多用欣賞的角度去看待孩子對世界好奇的眼睛。貼近孩子的內在,讓他有勇氣去挖掘自己潛藏的能力,而不是用現實的嚴苛去打擊他還沒有萌芽的夢。

  *讓孩子成為他自己
  我不要吃、我不要洗澡、我不要睡覺等等等,而這些話並不只是孩子隨便說說的,這表示他想練習「當自己的主人」。父母作為孩子的監護人,在帶著孩子社會化的過程中,最重要的事,不就是讓孩子學習當自己人生的主人嗎?

  我們努力使出渾身解數讓孩子聽得懂我們說的話,因為我們愛孩子的心那麼真誠;愛孩子的行為那麼努力,所以成為父母以後的我們,總是在學習。

  每個孩子學習的能力都有很大的差異和不同,要真正的貼近和了解孩子,沒有什麼教養和陪伴的捷徑,就是耐心的對話、傾聽、核對、承擔和欣賞孩子可以好好地把話說完。

  親子,是互相的 ,我們都是在成為父母以後,很努力的學習當父母,陪著孩子成長的過程,我們也是一路在進步與優化,我們真的要謝謝,這麼努力,尋求進步的自己。

  陪孩子好好說話,讓孩子能夠分辨、思考、表達、選擇,與負責,才真的是對孩子的人生好。

本書特色

  ★臉書上高人氣、暢銷親子作家最新力作★
  ★指出父母最常使用的錯誤教養方式,拉近親子關係,讓孩子懂得運用說話的能力,幫孩子的人生加分★

作者

尚瑞君

 
  中興大學<現為台北大學>法學士、中山大學政治所碩士。
  未來family官網專欄作家、媽媽經駐站作家。
  二〇二四年博客來上半年親子類銷售第一、第八、第十名作家。
 
  是老師和家長,認同與喜愛的親職作家,是各出版社,喜歡邀約一起推薦好書,與推廣閱讀的知識份子。
 
  著有:
  《優雅教養:傾聽、陪伴、愛,教你解讀孩子的心》
  《剛剛好的管教:放心與放手,讓孩子長出自信和力量》
  《剛剛好的距離:設立關愛界線,家有青少年的親子相處指南》
  《剛剛好的溫度:面對多重角色的平衡之道,讓愛擁有恰到好處的溫暖》
  《淬鍊幸福 剛剛好的回憶練習:媽媽也曾經是女兒 從過去傷痛釋放自己 學會愛》
  跟長子合著《家有中學生的解憂之書》
  臉書專頁:《尚瑞君之愛傾聽解讀心》
  2021-2024年,蟬聯博客來親子教養類,百大暢銷書作家

  願文字的溫潤,能傳遞世間的善與愛,讓我們好好珍惜與經營,每一個,來到生命面前的緣分。
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SKU: 6813521589

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Lyla Mae
Boise, US
★★★★★ 5
WOW! This printer has been VERY impressive thus far *UPDATE*
Color: Black, Style: ET-2800-B, Pattern Name: Printer
My old printer broke (sooner than I would have liked) so I did A LOT of research before deciding to buy this Epson EcoTank printer for home office use. This is my honest review of it this far and I will definitely update my review if I run into any issues. So far, this printer has been pretty impressive (I've been using it for about a month). The price was pretty average for a printer... but I personally think all printers are overpriced so it was a bit more than I would have liked to spend. It is smaller and more lightweight than I was expecting which is a plus because it takes up less desk space than my previous HP printer. It is very easy to set up, comes with step-by-step easy instructions and guided instructions through the app. It only took me about 10 minutes (Mostly just waiting for the printer to initialize on its own). It is very easy and surprisingly satisfying to fill the ink tank. I like the idea that this ink might last longer than traditional cartridges and won't have as much plastic waste that went along with my old HP Inkjet. I have printed plain black and white documents as well as photos. I print all my photos at home, which is most of the printing that I do, so quality was important to me. The photos came out with pretty good quality! No ink smudges or off colors, colors are bright/vivid, and it is easy to modify what paper you're using with automatic prompts on the printer. Now for the negatives and the reason I'm giving this 4 stars... app to printer connection issues. This was a big issue with my old printer as well. I'm pretty tech savvy and I just have no idea why this is still always an issue for me. There is an extra Epson app that you are supposed to download for printing. Sometimes it can find my printer, sometimes it can't. Sometimes it gives me printer errors or won't let me print documents. And now every time I go to print something it says the paper being used doesn't match the paper settings so I have to bypass that error message (even though it does match in settings and the app, and this happens for both regular paper and photo paper). I've turned everything off and back on again, but the issues with consistent connection and error messages are still an issue. Usually with some fiddling around, I can get the documents/pictures to print but sometimes it feels like I'm jumping through unnecessary hoops. I'm still working out the kinks so if I find some magic solution I'll update my review. Considering this is an issue with most home printers I've used, it's not a deal breaker. All in all, if you are looking for a new home printer, I would definitely recommend this one. The quality has been great for me and I am pleased with my purchase (so far). Hope this helps! *UPDATE*: I have now printed HUNDREDS of photos, they are all excellent quality, and my ink tanks are still mostly full. This is WAY better than my HP printer as far as ink longevity. Changing my review to 5 stars just based on how long this ink lasts. User interface is still a tad annoying but so worth it regardless.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 10, 2024
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Sam
Lowell, US
★★★★★ 5
Almost a year after purchase and this printer has not let me down!
Color: Black, Style: ET-2800-B, Pattern Name: Printer
I wanted to wait to write a review on this printer to see how it held up over time. Happy to report, after almost a year, it is still working perfectly! I was very nervous about purchasing a printer since it was my first time having to shop for one and almost every printer I looked at had something negative to say about the product. After extensive research, I decided to take a leap with the Epson EcoTank 2800. I was looking for a printer to use for recreational use. Something with decent print quality and longevity as well as something on a reasonable budget. I normally print full pages of color and have been using it regularly for around a year and I have about half of the ink that came with the printer left. Safe to say, the ink lasts a while. The quality may not be the top of the line quality you can get with a more expensive printer, but for the price and just everyday use, the quality is satisfactory. It was easy to set up and walked you through the instructions to connect to devices and configure it. The screen is a little small but if you can overlook that, it really is a nice printer. I have used regular printer paper, card stock, and sticker paper with this printer and I try to load only a few sheets at a time to avoid a jam but I haven't had any issues with it so far. Overall, I am extremely happy with my purchase. It can be extremely difficult to find a decent printer and some reviews can be misleading or leave you with questions on if the product is for you. If you are looking for something for printing everyday with decent quality and ink consumption that won't cost you a fortune, this printer is definitely worth taking a chance on!
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Reviewed in the United States on April 24, 2026
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Heavy G
Birmingham, US
★★★★★ 1
My Epson printer is total junk!
Color: White, Style: ET-2800-W, Pattern Name: Printer
I have had many printers over the years. I started with Canon dot matrix printers, and then ink jet printers. In the old days, and ink cartridge contained all the colors, so if red was out, you tossed away the rest of yellow and blue too. They were pricey and wasting ink wasn't something I was OK with. I would pull ink cartridges from dumpsters outside office supplies stores, take them home and draw the ink from them to fill my cartridges with. Then Epson came up with a cartridge for each color and black . That's when I switched to Epson and have used them ever since. I did have an HP in there when I got such a deal I couldn't pass it by, but after several years it died and I switched to Artisan printers. I still have an old 810 that is finicky and I don't want to have to coax it just to print a few pages. I got a WorkForce printer ,used it several times after I got it, and then it sat idle for 5 years or so. I moved recently and decided to set up the WorkForce printer. The new ink cartridges were practically new, but sat for 5 years maybe, so the nozzles and print head needed cleaning, I expected this. It uses mass amounts of ink to do this so then I was out of ink. I ordered new cartridges, and back to cleaning when they were inside. I never got anything to print, plus, the new paper I ordered was as glossy and slippery as photo paper, and the rollers couldn't grip it. I gave up and ordered this printer as a replacement. Setup went OK until I put paper in, then the rollers were slipping and I got jam messages, even though nothing was inside. I pulled the paper and let it finish the initial process. Then I put paper in when it wanted to align the print head. It fed paper OK for now, so I guess maybe I didn't get hosed on this Epson as I did buying the WorkForce Epson. UPDATE November 1st 2025 This is a frustrating printer!!!! I'm using WIFI network to connect the printer to my laptop computer. I like to be able to print or scan from anywhere in the house. If you purchase this frustrating Epson printer, you now have a ball and chain around your leg. You can't print a simple document without some kind of error code popping up and requiring that go look at the minuscule little screen and try to figure out what button you must press to get the document printed. If I have to be right next to the printer, I might as well use a wired connection. I am disabled and it's a real inconvenience for me to have to go to the printer and squint at the tiny screen to try to figure out why it's been ten minutes of my time and I still haven't gotten my 1 page document in my hand. High speed printing is not high speed when you can't get a printed page without having to make several trips back and forth to the printer. I set the default paper to the standard plain white letter paper, only to find it wants to scan to photo paper, so it just sits there like a block of cement and nothing gets done. I had an Epson Artisan 810 that I really liked, except for the automatic feeder quit working so you had to stand there and feed each sheet to be scanned by hand. I didn't want a sheet feeder on the printer because they break down and the you're feeding by hand anyway. I just hate printing anything at all now because of this printer. I wasted several hours one day trying to print documents that I downloaded and needed a physical copy to present in person for a project I'm doing. Normally I would send a PDF file, and let someone else bother printing if that was necessary. After years of purchasing Epson printers, this is absolutely the last Epson I have spent my money on. Never ever again. The first clue should have been when the quick start guide suggested using a smart phone to set up the printer. I'm not going to work from my 5 x 7 phone screen when I can instead use a 15 inch laptop screen, and keyboard. It's simply a stupid idea. Sorry, but no more Epson for me ever!!!! Update: 4/10/26 This is absolutely the most useless and frustrating Epson printer that I have ever ever owned. I cannot see good close up I need reading glasses to read. The digital screen on this printer is minuscule it's like a postage stamp size absolutely worthless. I have to carry a magnifying glass over to the f****** printer so that I can see what that little miniscule screen has to say on it. The most frustrating thing is every time I want to print something which is rare I don't print things every day the printer is not available is the message I always get I go over there by the printer I turn it off I turn it back on, that should clear out any crap that's on it so it's ready to print right? No you would be dead wrong! Instead you get a stupid little mini School screen and wants to be set on copy mode. I don't want to copy anything I don't want to scan anything I just want the damn thing ready to print. Anyway you come back to your your phone and you want to print and a printer still not available. I literally destroyed my phone I was that pissed off. I'm too old to be frustrated like that all the time. At 75 years of age I have had my share of printers over the years starting with the original dot matrix ones. Absolutely none of them were as difficult to use as this stupid printer I got now from Epson. When you want to print something you should be able to send it to the printer and it should print. You should not require a phone app to set the damn thing up! One thing I'll say, it's pretty good on ink because you can't make the damn thing print when you want it to !!!!!!!
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Reviewed in the United States on October 10, 2025
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Diana Crossman
Lowell, US
★★★★★ 5
Quality Printer
Color: Black, Style: ET-2800-B, Pattern Name: Printer
Wonderful multi purpose printer. I bought this months ago and finally got it set up. Set up was easy. Love that the printer is so light weight and fairly compact that I can move it wherever if needed. The supply of ink that came with it was awesome. The ink goes a long way. I have printed out a lot of photos on this printer and the quality has been very good. I have not encountered any paper jams. The photo printing has not been smudged nor has the color been uneven. From documents to photos this little printer does it all and does it very well. When my work printer dies I will be replacing it w another Epson Eco Tank for sure.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 15, 2026
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Scott
Draper, US
★★★★★ 4
Printing is great, wifi is a problem (I figured out how to make it work!)
Color: White, Style: ET-2800-W, Pattern Name: Printer
I was on the fence about buying this printer because most of the 1 star reviews all said the same thing... "The Wifi would not work" So I followed the instructions, Turned on the print, downloaded the IOS app, connected to the printer via Bluetooth, installed the ink, initialized the printheads. While that was going on, the app asked me to setup the wifi. a List of SSID's came up and I selected the one I wanted. I put in the password and it connected and the icon on the printer turned blue. I have a Unifi setup and I could see that the printer connected to access point #3 @ 2.4ghz and got an ip address. I locked the IP address to the printer. (For my instructions to work for you, you need to make a reservation or lock the ipaddress that your DHCP server provided to the printer. ) If you don't do this, you will get a different address every time you turn the printer on and the computer and app will not be able to find the printer. When the initialization was complete, the app on my phone said it could not connect to the printer. I decided to try to connect to a computer and come back to the phone app. I downloaded the software package from Epson and ran it. When it went to connect to the printer it could not find it and brings up a list of troubleshooting steps that are not likely to do anything. There are videos about this problem and they are all useless. I am an IT professional with 26 years of experience. I am not going to unplug the printer and wait five minutes, I am not going to re-boot my router, I have a Unifi network environment with over 150 devices connected... (I have great wifi coverage, I am not moving my printer anywhere) My network works just fine, this printer is the issue! So at this point, I know that the printer IS connected to my wifi and it got an IP address. This is not a wifi problem as everyone seems to think it is. It is an issue with the Epson software. I decided to try to install it via the windows printer installer. I selected install via TCP/IP and put the ipaddress that my Unifi system provided to the printer. Windows found the printer and since the Epson app had already installed the drivers... just asked me what drivers I wanted to use. The ET-2800 showed up on the right hand side of the screen. I selected it, it installed and I was able to try a test print. It worked fine. I can print from my computer to the printer via the network. Next was the phone app. The phone app has the option to find the printer via the IP address. I put the IP address in and it found the printer. The phone app works now too. So, It took me some time to get this working, it should not have taken any time at all if the software worked correctly. The printer is really nice, it is a shame that the software is so bad when it comes to connecting to the printer. So if you decide to buy one of these printers, save yourself the headache and just install using the ip address, it is quick and easy that way and it just works. I would have just purchased an HP printer, but I did not want to deal with all the issues of their subscription ink service. I feel like the cost of ink makes this printer worth the hassle of getting it to work.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2024

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