Global Warming Fan Club Garment-dyed Heavyweight Long-sleeve Shirt
SKU: 65380396907

Global Warming Fan Club Garment-dyed Heavyweight Long-sleeve Shirt

Sale price$34.20 Regular price$38.00
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Description

Global Warming Fan Club Garment-dyed Heavyweight Long-sleeve ShirtListen, were from Minnesota, where winter tries to kill you every single year, so youll have to excuse us if were a little skeptical about the whole "Earth is getting too hot" thing. Too hot? Where?! Because I just spent 20 minutes scraping ice off my windshield with a debit card after my scraper snapped in half like a stale breadstick. Look, were not saying climate change isnt realwere just saying its really awesome. And were supposed to believe that

Listen, we’re from Minnesota, where winter tries to kill you every single year, so you’ll have to excuse us if we’re a little skeptical about the whole "Earth is getting too hot" thing. Too hot? Where?! Because I just spent 20 minutes scraping ice off my windshield with a debit card after my scraper snapped in half like a stale breadstick.

Look, we’re not saying climate change isn’t real—we’re just saying it’s really awesome.

 

And we’re supposed to believe that the same people who can’t fix potholes and think printing more money makes everything cheaper are suddenly the Masters of the Atmosphere™? Yeah, sure. Next, they’ll be telling us they can control hurricanes with a tax.

That brings us to this premium heavyweight long-sleeve—a must-have for any member of the Global Warming Fan Club, where we celebrate the grift, the hysteria, and the world’s most expensive virtue signal. The design features a poor polar bear adrift at sea, which, if we’re being honest, probably just swam out too far because he got distracted by a school of delicious, oily seals. But sure, let’s blame my pickup truck.

Printed on a thick, ultra-soft, garment-dyed cotton shirt, this long-sleeve is pre-shrunk and rugged enough to withstand both winter and sanctimonious lectures from that one guy in your office who just got a Tesla and won’t shut up about it.

Features & Specs:

100% premium ring-spun cotton – softer than the EPA’s definition of "science"
6.1 oz heavyweight fabric – built tougher than your local weatherman’s credibility
Garment-dyed & pre-shrunk – won’t shrink, unlike Arctic ice that has been "disappearing" since 1979
Relaxed fit – because the real climate crisis is the price of a gym membership
Twill-taped neck and shoulders – for durability, just in case Al Gore personally tries to rip it off you

Wear it to your next ice fishing trip, at Thanksgiving just to see which relatives flinch, or while you Google how many “climate deadlines” we’ve blown past since 1998. Either way, you’ll be cozy.

Get yours before they’re banned. 🐻‍❄️🔥

Features & Specs:

100% premium ring-spun cotton – soft enough to make you forget you’re freezing
6.1 oz heavyweight fabric – just like Grandma’s winter stew, built to last
Garment-dyed & pre-shrunk – won’t shrink, unlike our daylight hours in January
Relaxed fit – because let’s be honest, winter weight is a thing
Twill-taped neck and shoulders – extra reinforcement for when you’re hunched over, cursing the sky

Wear it to your next ice fishing trip, mandatory family gathering, or as a passive-aggressive jab at that one guy who insists “it’s just a cycle”. Either way, you’ll be comfortable, and that’s more than we can say for the bear.

Grab yours before they’re gone—just like our patience for winter. ❄️🔥

Size guide

  LENGTH (inches) CHEST (inches) SLEEVE LENGTH (inches)
S 26 ⅝ 31-34 31 ⅞
M 28 34-37 33 ¾
L 29 ¾ 38-41 36 ⅞
XL 30 ¾ 42-45 37 ¼
2XL 31 ⅝ 46-49 38 ¾
3XL 32 ½ 50-53 39 ¾
  LENGTH (cm) CHEST (cm) SLEEVE LENGTH (cm)
S 67.6 78.7-86.4 81
M 71.1 86.4-94 85.7
L 75.6 96.5-104.1 93.7
XL 78.1 106.7-114.3 94.6
2XL 80.3 116.8-124.5 98.4
3XL 82.6 127-134.6 101
Shipping Notes
  • Free Standard Shipping on $100+ Orders to the USA.
  • Except Preorder products are shipped in 48 hours.
  • Delivery to the USA:
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Exchange/Return Notes
  • We offer a 30-day return/exchange service after receiving.
  • Final sale items are not eligible for returns or exchanges.
  • To process your return/exchange, please contact us at [email protected]
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SKU: 65380396907

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B
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Bus Driver
Birmingham, US
★★★★★ 4
Good Watch for use in water.
Color: Black/ Green
Here's the deal. It's an excellent plastic watch. If you don't abuse it, it should last years. The advantage of metal bodies and crystal faces, is that they're lot more resistant to scratches compared to plastic, BUT they weigh a lot more than plastic watches. I love the size of this watch while at the same time, it surprisingly light on the wrist. Therefore it doesn't move all around like a heavy steel watch. I hardly know Im wearing this plastic watch. Also, I went snorkling offshore for a week with this watch, no leaks, no problems. It will stand up to water fine. So, if you don't abuse it, its a pleasure to wear, lightweight, waterproof, doesnt slip around, looks good. I imagine the battery should last 3-5 yrs like my last plastic quartz watch. For the price, its a very good watch.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2025
L
Verified Purchase
Luis A.
Lexington, US
★★★★★ 5
TIMEX ROCKS !
Color: Black/ Green
This is my first TIMEX, and it supersedes my expectations ! The silicone wrist band is excellent, comfortable beyond imagination and looks good, the timepiece face is elegant yet simple/ clean look...Not cluttered. I Highly recommend it to anyone, I am now a TIMEX man !, throwing out my previous wristwatch...
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Reviewed in the United States on July 17, 2025
B
Verified Purchase
Bismarck
Fort Morgan, US
★★★★★ 5
Great watch and fantastic value
Color: Black/ Green
I get so many compliments on my watch. Not only does it look great, it is so functional with my active lifestyle. Waterproof, sweat, dirt it takes it all. Love this watch.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 15, 2025
D
Verified Purchase
Danny
Louisville, US
★★★★★ 1
Small
Color: Black/ Green
Nice watch. But small face
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Reviewed in the United States on March 31, 2023
R
Verified Purchase
richsal
Pawtucket, US
★★★★★ 5
Nice Watch!
Color: Black/ Green
Great value! Nice watch. Comfortable and light to wear.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on September 29, 2025

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